In case you were getting the itch for football, here in late June. Yes, we know- training camps a month away. We thought we’d throw out Tom Brady’s career stats to you. A little something to MUNCH ON.
CAN YOU SAY HALL OF FAME?
At first it was kind of cute. When the Boston Red Sox [team stats] won the 2004 World Series at Busch Stadium, I was happy for their fans. Boston is a passionate and traditional baseball town, and Red Sox Nation endured considerable angst through the decades, ever since some apparently intoxicated fool concluded it would be a swell idea to trade Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees.
So after the Red Sox and their fans cavorted on the field at Busch, I wrote a column of congratulations. Earlier I had been a good sport following Super Bowl XXXVI, after quarterback Tom Brady [stats] orchestrated the first of his many epic, fourth-quarter drives to lead the New England Patriots [team stats] to a shocking upset over the Rams.
Sure, the Rams should have won. But the underdog Patriots opted to be introduced as a team that day, compared to the individualistic, prancing, showboating Rams. That earned respect points. And the Super Bowl was played only a few months after the horrific national tragedy of Sept. 11. And the team had that name … PATRIOTS. And those colors, red white and blue. It was a neat story. Not quite Paul Revere’s ride, but it struck the right theme for that snapshot of American culture.
I’m over it now.
Enough already with Boston area teams winning championships.
Since 2001, the Patriots have won three Super Bowls, the Red Sox finally terminated the nonsense of that sorry, no-account built-in excuse (”Curse of the Bambino”) to win the World Series in 2004 and 2007. And now the Boston Celtics [team stats] are NBA champs after a long drought.
Which means we had to read 5,000 references about how ol’ Red Auerbach was smiling upstairs on that bench in the sky, lighting up a victory cigar. No, he wasn’t; actually Red was out there, somewhere, trying to swindle Ben Kerner again. (”Can you believe I got this moron, Kerner, to trade me Bill Russell?”)
Enough with the preening and gloating and this nonstop Boston “Me” Party.
I’m a big guy, so it pains me to say this, but I’m tired of seeing those chunky, pink-faced white guys wearing Celtics throwbacks, straight out of that stupid House of Pain video (”Jump Around”) shouting “We’re No. 1″ at TV cameras with distorted faces.
Hey, Sully - I didn’t see you kick the field goal. That was Vinatieri. So quit rolling around in the end zone. Yo, Murph yeah, you in the Bird jersey, bum-rushing the floor at the Garden on Tuesday night when the Celtics destroyed the Lakers to win the NBA championship. Yeah, you. That’s right. You aren’t even Eddie Bird (Larry’s brother), so get off the basketball court and let the Celtics players celebrate.
They should rename Boston’s “Big Dig” and call it “Dig Me.”
And I can’t take another column/blog by relentless Boston sports homer Bill Simmons on ESPN.com. Most guys in our business can get a column done in 800 words or so, but every time a Boston team wins a game, Simmons feels compelled to cluster bomb about 27,438 words on innocent sports fans. The dude takes himself more seriously than Thomas Paine did in writing “Common Sense” during Revolutionary War times.
Hell, I can’t even watch “The Departed” anymore. It’s one of my favorite films.
But it’s set in Boston.
And of course, it won the Oscar for best picture in 2006.
Why am I so bitter?
For starters, because St. Louis has been way too generous to Boston during the years. That’s one reason. Bobby Orr scored the famous Stanley-Cup clinching goal for the Boston Bruins [team stats] against the Blues in 1970 while (seemingly) flying through air.
The NBA St. Louis Hawks had the No. 2 pick in the 1956 draft and took Russell. Then Kerner got suckered by Auerbach and traded Russell to the Celtics [team stats]. Russell, of course, centered a dynasty that won 11 NBA championships in his 13 seasons. It was one of the all-time dunderhead transactions in the history of sport.
St. Louisan James Busch Orthwein played a key role in the Patriots [team stats]’ resurgence; he bought the team when no one wanted it, hired Bill Parcells as coach, got the Pats into a Super Bowl, then sold the franchise to Robert Kraft. If Orthwein doesn’t hire Parcells, then Kraft never buddies up with a Parcells assistant, Bill Belichick. Together, Kraft and Belichick teamed for those three Super Bowl champions.
St. Louis born-and-trained soccer stars Taylor Twellman, Steve Ralston and Pat Noonan made the New England Revolution an MLS regular-season power.
I’m jaded because we’ve learned a few things during the years. I didn’t know about Spygate when I wrote those gracious words about the Patriots taking down the Rams for their first Super Bowl championship. I didn’t know that the Patriots were devious cheaters - more like Cold War Soviet spies conducting espionage than true American patriots. I thought I was watching a feel-good story in Super Bowl XXXVI; it didn’t occur to me that I was witnessing a crime being committed.
It also bugged me to discover that Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore were running around the field at Busch Stadium when the Red Sox [team stats] won in 2004, filming the final scene for the sappy, vapid, typically self-absorbed Boston-experience film, “Fever Pitch.”
Do I like anything about Boston?
Sure.
Bob Ryan, the sportswriter.
Sam Adams, the beer.
The Dropkick Murphys, the band.
The song “Roadrunner,” by the Modern Lovers.
JFK, the first U.S. president elected in my lifetime.
Dunkin Donuts, obviously.
That’s about it. Just some minor relief from this “Hub of the Universe” domination.
You can have Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, too. And Keith Tkachuk, for that matter.
Tom Brady’s new cologne has hit the shelves. Be on the lookout for Stetson’s new cologne, a fresh smell, which you can get for under $20.00 at the discount retailer. This should be interesting!
Allegedly, Tom Brady is in discussions with Calvin Klein to follow David Beckham, and pose as an underwear model. The Private eye for the company, Paul Barresi claims ” I am confident that Brady will blow the competition out of the water.”
This ought to be interesting. Think he will do it? Will this help/harm him?
Check this out. Tom Brady has a sex tape coming out? Big deal. So what. Leave the man alone, and let him be the absolute stud quarterback that he is.. And even if he did, so what- this girl is hot! Check it out, and check HER out.
Could the NFL’s hottest quarterback (Tom Brady) and one of the world’s sexiest supermodels (Gisele Bundchen) really have a sex tape that’s about to circulate the Internet at a faster pace than Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian’s combined? According to the New York Post’s Page Six, they absolutely could have.
The world renowned quarterback and his super-slim girlfriend reportedly hooked up in Philippe, a Chinese eatery where customers are free to partake in sexual activities in the private room. According to Page Six, many celeb couples have done the deed in the room - including Sienna Miller and P. Diddy. But don’t get too excited about the possibility of viewing this super hot couple having sex. A rep for the restaurant released a statement in regards to the allegations, confirming there are videos “for security purposes” but denying that they will circulate the Internet at any point in time.
“All tapes are deleted,” says Ronn Torossian. “It is completely and utterly false that anyone has access to view the videos at Philippe, which are maintained off-site at our corporate headquarters.
“The privacy of our clientele is our foremost concern. Any statement saying to the contrary is utterly and completely false.”
The spokesperson for the restaurant never confirmed or denied that Tom and Gisele ever entered the private room.
Wonder if the celebrities know they’re being caught on camera?
Do you think Tom and Gisele hooked up in the private room?
Our guy Tom Brady has some more advertising going on. Check out his latest with the corporation Myo-Med:
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